THE WALKING DEAD…

Saturday, February 14, 2015

11:55 PM

Dead, long gone…

Buried in dug out graves..

They are late, and yet alive, dead and still living amongst us…                

They are the walking dead.

 They are like alive ghosts living in our world of the living ,

They are the unseen and yet seen in our daily business at work,

Infact they are the reason we're working.

They are the reason, we understand somethings, the way we do.

Like why the stone we throw up, always come down(ISAAC NEWTON)

Or that 24 years in prison doesn’t kill, but moves us closer to the purpose for such sacrifices (NELSON MANDELA)

Even that its possible to head NAFDAC and not be corrupt (DORA AKINUYLI)

These important figures are dead, yet their works and legacies would forever remain;

So we should all strive hard in this world of the living and dead, so we can leave a legacy too.

                                                                                     written and edited by likinyo tolulope
                                                                                               who is doing this for legacy reasons.

 

 

 

THE  TYPICAL (AFRICAN) NIGERIAN MOTHER.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

10:42 AM

                  According to the  oxford dictionary of  the Toluexpress edition. A Nigerian mother is defined as: a grown up woman, who expects you to know how to speak your native language wella. (because of its frequent use in Toluexpress.blogspot.com).

            A Nigerian mother is someone who would rather hear ''mama mi'' ''ye mi'' and probably''momsi mi'' than the British or American culture of mothers, who knows only ''mom'' and ''mummy''.

           she's someone, who would tell her daughter from a tender age, to always run away from boys, unless she would get pregnant and at an older age, ask why she isn't married.

            she would give you money below the standard price of a good or commodity, she needs you to buy from the market, (because she expects you to price everything).

                        

Oh! She does that a lot.

     A typical Nigerian mother would shout at the top of her voice, every time you do something wrong.(that's how she gets the house neat all the time too/scare away the croak roaches and rats).

  And when she's finally calming down, would say. 'I don’t know why you did something like that ehn, LATER YOU WOULD SAY AM SHOUTING''…

         You can't talk relationship or social life talk with her, unless you want to end up …. (hmmmmn), you can only talk about what food, you will prepare that night/what papa mi wants to eat.

       If you fall sick and you're being sent home from school, BAM! You will enjoy shege  , but she will not cease to tell you how much school work, you're missing and how you have a lot to catch up on, when you get back.

        In all of these things, we embrace her and love her better than popsi, because of her beautiful heart.

      If you find this amusing, then I believe Toluexpress has defined a Typical (African) Nigerian mother well enough for you, even to be able to have its own dictionary and quit supplying help to oxford dictionary management team.

 

                                                                                     written and edited by

                                                                                   Likinyo tolulope

                                                                        a-soon-to-be-Nigerian-Mother.

 

 

Photo credit:ofilispeaks

MY SINGLE STORY ABOUT OMO ODO (HOUSE HELPS).

Friday, February 20, 2015

4:41 PM

                    As a little girl, while growing up, I had lots and lots of omo odo (house helps) and as you can guess, lots and lots of movie scenes, which warranted their being sent away.

            Their was one, who made me lie against my brother; about spoiling the fridge, when she did and as you can probably figure out, my lie detector of a mother detected it straight away.

         Their was another, who ran away to Ibadan on her own and came back, two days later after making us go to police stations to mingle heads with the: not-to-be-mingled-with kind of heads and also making popsi say ''turn around'', ''change your style'', ''another style'' to be sure nothing evil happened to her, on the road, which made mumsi very upset.

         Even the hilarious one, who liked to roll paper in the shape of a cigarette and smoke with it.

          Oh! There was also a patience, who said, she was a witch and was sent to us, but couldn’t harm us at night, because of ina olorun (fire of God).

P.S : BAM! Mummy sent her away that night.  (I think she flew off with her broomstick)

          So  after all these short clips and book excerpts from my life, I have a single story about house helps.

     -they are all from cotonou, Togo (are they poor over there???)

     -they never last up to a year.

     -they always have an influence on the household one way or the other.

Let me apologize before the last one and write it in Yoruba, so that not everybody will understand.

     -omo aje ni won.

And with these write up, I upload my first video and I warn; please make sure you have a strong heart before you watch.

Always have a camera hidden somewhere, in your house.

                                                                                                written and experienced by

                                                                                                     likinyo tolulope.

                                                                                          who probably hates house helps.

RELIGION'S NEXT TOP MODEL.             

Wednesday, February 18, 2015                              

11:17 PM

 

    It is funny really, how some particular breed of people  have to kill, slaughter and murder beautiful, young- at- heart Christians, to emphasize the complexity of their religion, to make themselves seen and known… it is really saddening,  how they have turned the whole  religion thing, into a struggle to be America's next top model.

     It is pathetic how women are stoned to death, men are beheaded and young children are slaughtered and then a silly video showing the runway walk and pictures showing the photo shoots are released, in order to threaten the peace of this world.

  So I formulated a simple theory after much observations and experiments, carried out in my lab, which involved the mixture of some CuSO₄, NO₂, KMnO₄ along with some samples of tissues from their brains, it turned  reddish-brown with this inference.

WHOEVER THREATENS AND DISTURBS THE PEACE OF OTHERS; ONLY TELL/SHOWS US HOW RESTLESS  AND DESPERATE THEY ARE; FOR PEACE, THAT THEY DESTROY THAT OF OTHERS. (confirmed present)

                                                           Written and theorized by me

                                                        P.S; I if you are a Musa, Uthman, Danladi... no vex ooh

                                                            but: diares God sha.

WORDS OF HURT IN OUR WORLD OF HURT.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

10:26 PM

      She always said I was the black sheep, the broken egg, the lost daughter. She told me I could be smart but not like the rest of them, she made me feel insecure, she had to tell me, I was cursed in her own bizarre way, I was useless in her own cryptic way.

     She said it all, when I was so young and naïve, so gullible and vulnerable and so naked did I feel, all those times, all those years.

     Now am all grown up, with those words tucked so far away from even the deepest recesses of my mind, with no acknowledgement whatsoever left for them but sometimes when life enters it jumbled up state, I guess all you can think of are jumbled up things, those words come flooding back, bringing along with it waves and waves of pain.

     I know she never meant those things; because she only said them each time she got angry, but sometimes  words of hurt means a lot in our world of hurt.

HOW FLOWERS KILL.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

10:54 AM

   So I saw this picture while scrolling through my twitter account once and decided to share it with you all. If you are going to get angry; please do; if you are going to cry; feel free, but please don’t say awwwwnnn… its PROHIBITED, please have fun reading.

 

Hahahahahahahaha…I guess I fall into the laughing category

 

THE INSULT THAT SAVED MY LIFE.

Sunday, February 15, 2015

11:32 PM

      I need to write a book, I need to sing in a concert…wait…Emem, I also want to be a violinist. I am thinking and saying this things, while, while  Emem is probably thinking how beautiful and lovely my dreams are and oh, she might be jealous a little.

      #sameweeknextmonth.

I want to have a magazine, #next day; I need to learn this make up thing ooh, probably during the holiday.

    #holidayperiod; having fulfilled nothing, Emem, I need to have a blog…

        Emem laughs and says…

''you have told me a lot of your dreams''

Ouch..

In that difficult to hear statement, I derived a lot of important thoughts.. I have not done anything, only thought about it all, dreamt big;  and that’s what kills a lot of us, dreaming so big and accomplishing nothing. RETWEET if you have like 5 dreams a day…Lolz… please y'all DREAM BIG AND START SMALL.